


I should be happy.

by what_am_i_even_doing_tho



Series: Vent Pieces [1]
Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Vent Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_am_i_even_doing_tho/pseuds/what_am_i_even_doing_tho
Summary: Corin is sad.
Relationships: Corin the Stormtrooper (Rescue and Regret)/The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)
Series: Vent Pieces [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753177
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	I should be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> This… Is very different from anything else I’ve written. I’ve written angst before, but never in this style and never as a pure vent piece. That’s what this is. I wrote it in 30 minutes to just get the thoughts out of my head without actually bothering anyone. It’s unedited, and it’s literally just my raw thoughts, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make any sense. Maybe someday I’ll be able to come back to this and actually turn it into something.
> 
> Obviously, this is very OOC. And yes, I realize that Din never actually comforts Corin. That’s on purpose.

Corin is sitting outside the covert alone. It’s a beautiful day.

Din has been looking for him for a while now and is relieved to finally find him.

D: “There you are. What are you doing out here?”

Corin doesn’t respond.

D: “Hey… Are you alright?”

Corin shakes his head no. Din walks over and sits down next to him.

D: “You know that you can tell me what’s wrong, right? It’s okay.”

C: “I don’t… I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m just… sad. I don’t know why I’m sad. I don’t have a reason. I just am.”

Din puts an arm around Corin and pulls him close. They’re quiet for a few minutes.

C: “I should be happy. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Din. I have you, I have the kid, and we’re safe. I’m surrounded by friends. I should be happy. But I’m not. I feel like I’m standing in a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, but no one sees me. No one hears me. I feel alone and scared and so kriffing lost. This isn’t right. This is selfish. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should be happy.

“These emotions feel fake. Like I’m only feeling them for attention. Like I’m only sad so that you can comfort me. Like I only think bad thoughts so that you can tell me otherwise. Like I only argue when you do so that you can keep telling me. I feel like I’m pretending to be this irrevocably damaged thing just so that you’ll want to try to help. I feel like an imposter. This doesn’t feel real. I should be happy.

“I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to be productive. I want to do things. But I have no motivation, and I have no pride in what I do. I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed that I feel this way. There are so many others that have it much worse than I do. So many people that don’t have a family, that don’t have a home. What right do I have to be sad for no kriffing reason when I have things so well? I should be happy.

“Why can’t I decide if I want to be noticed, or if I want to be invisible? Why do I beg you to see me, only to hide when you do? Why do I wish that you would just leave me alone, only to be devastated when you do? Why do I push you away when you try to help me? Why do I feel like such a waste of space? Why am I not happy? I should be happy.

“I should be happy.

“I should be happy.

“I should be happy.”


End file.
